In Joy Life Magazine

In Joy Life Magazine


…But He Won’t

Couple_disagreeingDo you really want him to be like you and read your mind? So often I hear, “why won’t he just help?”, or “why am I the only one that…?” The next time you want your spouse or significant other to automatically know what to do, pause and rethink that. Of course it would be great for him to know what somebody (not necessarily you) should prepare for dinner, or what medicine to take for a runny nose versus just a cough, but in reality we would all be in hot water if we could read someone’s mind. So, the next time he asks you an “obvious” question or when you’d like for him to handle something himself, just breathe and then choose words that will eliminate pain and an inevitable argument.

Whether you perform the same routine day after day, and he still doesn’t know when it’s that time of day that your child needs to be given a bath, and it feels like he is just blowing it off, hold on. As hard as it may be to believe, most of the time this oversight is sincere with no ill intention to wear you down. It takes a masterful mind to be able to conjure up and remember ways to get on someone’s nerve. It is more peaceful to accept that men and women are designed to be different, and truth be told the more opposite you are, the better. We are intended to complement each other, not think for the other person. In movies they make it seem like perfect couples finish each other’s sentences; but quite frankly, I prefer to finish my own sentences and have my own thoughts.

Now, I can clearly admit that there are scenarios when I need my other half to tag in for me when I have nothing left that day to give. I can certainly appreciate a fresh perspective or a reprieve from my internal conflicts. With that being said; if you are in a relationship or maybe daydreaming about one, take the time to communicate your needs and expectations upfront. It’s better to have some concrete agreement or understanding about your expectations that can be tweaked and made better later. Having an attitude about something that started in your head ‘only’ that begins to take root and grow into frustration could simply be avoided. It’s okay to let people off the hook to establish peace.

Written By: Janetha Edwards

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  1. Jenice JonesJanuary 20, 2015 Reply
    I totally agree with this idea. However, there are many unfortunate situations where people are in relationships to help fulfill a personal need, not to mention there are so many individuals who have been previously hurt and have not taken any steps to prevent that hurtful behavior from entering into what could be a very exceptional partnership or healthy marriage institution. This is a great eye opener to how expectations can be a fog to the reality.
    Great article.

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